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estranged daughter with Stockholm Syndrome

Sam Vaknin is the author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" and 8 other books about personality disorders and abuse in relationships with narcissists and psychopaths. He is the owner and moderator of support forums and the first person to have written about the Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) online (in 1997). He invented many of the terms currently used to describe the disorder and its effects on family, the workplace, and in various professions.

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estranged daughter with Stockholm Syndrome

Postby mayumimiyamura » Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:53 pm

I am a mother of 5 adult children,the youngest of which is now estranged. She is 27 years old, a former professional ballet dancer and an aspiring actress.
A year and a half ago, she suddenly announced that she was moving to Colombia (to an area that is on the non travel zone list of most developed countries) with her 41 year old acting coach whom she hardly knew.He was the owner of an acting school here in Madrid, where all of my children grew up.When they moved to Colombia, they left everything as- is; clothes in their closets, his car which was financed in the garage, the teachers without any warning and without paying them, etc..as if they were going away for the weekend.
They seemed to get settled in Colombia, my daughter opened a ballet school there.They got married
at a justice of the peace, alone, no ring or guests or witnesses, alleging that it was in order for my daughter to be able to stay legally in Colombia.They soon th tired of Colombia and decided to move to Miami as my daughter has a US passport.They kept asking me about the procedure for obtaining a green card etc and told me that he had been married before and had not bothered to get a divorce from his p previous wife who he claimed was an. older woman, a friend of the family who agreed to marry him in order for to get Spanish citizenship.
I could go on and on...but to m a keep a long story short, they went to Miami, renting an expensive apartment which they could not afford, got married again the day after getting a divorce, and we're attempting to apply for adjustment of his visa status.I went to Miami to help them with the p paper work and that is when it dawned on me that there was something very wrong.My daughter, with whom I was exceptionally close due to her ballet training(she was home schooled) but I suddenly found her to be cold, secretive and ailianate d.I could not get her alone for even a few minutes. When I got there they were both very excited about making a life in the States and 15 days later, they had changed their minds. When I got back to D pain, I began researching and . Somehow I came across your book and videos on Narcissism. Everything fit this man to a tee.I also found out that the ex wife was not an older woman but a young wannabe actress, daughter of a prominent business man in Palma de Mallorca. After that relationship, he briefly lived with another 19 year old wannabe actress who he left for my daughter. Upon learning all this, I wrote my daughter to ask her please not to get pregnant as she had expressed her wish to have a baby; they were homeless and jobless. She got very angry with me and cut off all means of communication with me.
They are back in Madrid now,she has communication with her siblings a n d always reliterates how happy she is but I fear for her well being. She lied about being pregnant and asked me to apologize to her husband, I refused and now she says she has had a moment miscarrige due to all the stress I have caused her..etc..
I really feel helpless and hopeless. Could you give me some advice as to how I should proceed?
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Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2014 8:30 pm


Re: estranged daughter with Stockholm Syndrome

Postby samvaknin » Sat Nov 01, 2014 3:18 pm

Your daughter is an adult. She has the right to make her own choices and commit her own mistakes. All you can and should do is share your point of view with her and refer her to relevant literature.

Click on these links for detailed topic guides - everything you ever wanted
to know about narcissists and psychopaths:

Toxic Relationships with Malignant Narcissists and Psychopaths
How to Recognize a Narcissist or a Psychopath on Your First Date, Before It
is Too Late?

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4976

Narcissists and Personality disordered Mates, Spouses, and Partners

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5013

Narcissists, psychopaths, ***, and marital fidelity

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4920

Narcissistic and Psychopathic Parents and Their Children

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4727

Projection and Projective Identification - Abuser in Denial

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5002

Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5000

The Narcissist or Psychopath Hates your Independence and Personal Autonomy

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4959

I miss him so much - I want him back!

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4934

Guilt? What guilt?

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4931

How Victims are Pathologized and re-abused by the System

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5068

The Narcissist and Psychopath in Society
The Narcissist and Psychopath as Criminals

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5003

The Narcissist is Above the Law

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4983

The Narcissist as Liar and Con-man

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4951

Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality disorder and Psychopathy
Does the Narcissist Have a Multiple Personality (Dissociative Identity

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4950

Narcissists as Drama Queens

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4948

The Narcissist as Know-it-all

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4945

The Narcissist as VAMPIRE or MACHINE

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4944

Narcissists and Psychopaths Devalue Their Psychotherapists

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4939

Violent, Vindictive, Sadistic, and Psychopathic Narcissists

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4938

Portrait of the Narcissist as a Young Man

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5048

Grandiosity, Fantasies, and Narcissism

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4923

Narcissists and Emotions

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5248

Narcissists and Mood Disorders

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5067
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy:


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