Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 907

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livedthroughit · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 967

Well, it definitely shows that co-parenting means nothing to him.

You know what I just thought? If N thinks your son 15-year old son is somehow not safe with you, why did he leave the dog with you all weekend without asking?

ohgal · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 129

Summer~
Yes, I would use it against the N in court. Get a copy to your atty. on Monday with all the lies highlighted, ESPECAILLY about relocating with S-15.
My N used to tell me that he'd take my D to FLA and I'd never find her there. Makes your blood run cold, doesn't it?
Who knows what N is thinking when he writes those things...oh yeah, he's a N and only thinks of himself! OF COURSE he's a pilot...in his own mind. LOL!
Does he date that you know of? My N has a new girlfriend (this ones may be a step up from his last one whose name was BUBBLES..not kidding) and brought her and her kids along last night when he picked up D for the weekend. I have no idea where he meets these women, probably in bars. I don't go out to his car, so I couldn't get a good view of her, I just saw her staring at my house as they drove away. HE'S ALL HERS.....

Sailor2bill · Joined: 21 Feb 2007 Posts: 204

Summer, I'm just passing through vry quickly. My time is still swamped by the sale of the property. Can you PROVE beyond doubt that this is actually N on the dating site? If so, as evidence against him it's priceless.
Make sure you present it as evidence at the correct time. i.e. don't just throw it in out of the blue. Also insist your attorney presents it to the court.
I'll be back in circulation soon.
Best wishes
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Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 907

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1ablueprincess · Joined: 07 Oct 2007 Posts: 195

Summer, as someone who is constantly accussed of forging evidence I will tell you having his picture and profile and stuff "may" not be enough. IF he turns around and says that he did not post that stuff but that YOU posted it then the burden of proof will shift back to you. In that case, what you need to do is hire a forensics computer expert and subpoena his hard drive. The computer experts will be able to show that it was HIS computer which posted it.
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survivor

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 907

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superheromom · Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Posts: 74

Summer,

I'm curious about your N's 3 kids from his previous marriage. Do you know if N behaved this way during that divorce? Did he stay in contact with those kids while they were minors and start ignoring them once they turned 18? Or, did N ignore them the entire time? When you first starting dating N, did he use his 3 kids to make himself more attractive? You know, regular family man and all around good guy type of thing. If so, did he lose interest in the kids once he had you "hooked"?

Definitely print out what you found on the dating website. I run a tad paranoid at times so I would keep the forgery accusation mentioned by Blueprincess in mind. See if there's a way to be proactive to clear yourself so you can slap down that info immediately after the possible accusation.

Blueprincess,

Would it benefit Summer to have her computer examined by a forensic expert before the court date? They would still have to look at her N's hard drive but I think if Summer had proof of her clean computer available at the same time as the dating print-out, she may be able to bounce that burden of proof back onto him immediately if accused of forgery.

Something like that would probably scare the horse teeth off of that N. Kodak moment.

Sailor2bill · Joined: 21 Feb 2007 Posts: 204

Summer, hello again. I've just posted into cyberspace again, so this is shortened. If you have N's photo clearly attached to his postings then you've got him. His shiny new gnashers could be his downfall. How could you possibly have got photographs of him flashing his gnashers when he did not have them before your separation??
Another thought occured to me: why not have a female friend of yours, or better still a female private investigator reply to his ad? She could record all he has to say about his intentions, including where he intends to take S15. OK so it comes under the heading of dirty tricks, I think it's called a honey pot trap and I think it could be very risky in court. Probably the N could do it and get away with it but you are not an N. I don't seriously suggest you do it but you could find out an awful lot.
I would not worry too much about the court, you already know what N is going to say more or less. If HE produces evidence out of the hat you could argue it's inadmissable. You have good hard evidence against N, whereas his case sounds like a fairy story.
Is it possible for your attorney to request the judge to put a STOP to N constantly bringing the case back to court? I asked my D's barrister to request this of the judge and it was granted. N cannot go back to court now (and neither can my D) unless it is of the utmost importance.
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Sailor

1ablueprincess · Joined: 07 Oct 2007 Posts: 195

Man this is a KOOL group!! I WISH I had found this group when I was going thru some garbage in 2005 with my N and court!

Summer, the new photos of him is EXCELLENT, so is that he had to pay for the site (because no doubt it was by his credit card which would be easy to prove), the idea of the private detective is WONDERFUL!! Having your own hardrive examined would definiately give you the upper hand, though IF your N is NOT accussing you of forgery constantly (like mine) then you probably do not need to go to the extra expense. The problem (I have learned the hard way) with going to expense to prove something is or is not forged ahead of time is that 1) he "may" not accuse you and you have already spent the money for no reason 2) IF he accuses you of forgery it is your word against his and as long as N lies and you do not, your word carries the strongest proof by itself 3) If he "does" get anywhere with the judge and you "think" it was because he managed to convince the judge you forged something, you can come back and then spend the money and prove that it was NOT forged and take him back on the same issue you lost on
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survivor

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 907

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Sailor2bill · Joined: 21 Feb 2007 Posts: 204

Summer, told you that you are psychic. You are on exactly same time as me although it's 4.30 p.m. here.
Remember that you must produce your evidence etc. BEFORE the court case. You cannot simply produce it from nowhere. Give it all to your attorney in good time. Remember that my D had incriminating photos of N which were disallowed as they were not submitted at the correct time, in the correct manner. What you now have is VERY important evidence, make sure it's presented properly.
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Sailor

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 907

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1ablueprincess · Joined: 07 Oct 2007 Posts: 195

Sailor, in my case the judge always has admitted evidence at the last minute... though I dont know why. Everything I ever read said the evidence was supposed to be admitted first... But my attorney, and S attorney and Ns attorney have all submitted evidence at the last minute.... It could be a judge by judge thing, I dont know... I have also read that evidence is admitable at the hearing in order to "impeach" (prove he lied) someone.

So Summer, show it to your attorney and keep it under wraps unless the attorney says otherwise. One thing I have personally learned is that when N has more time to think about the evidence he also comes up with more excuses for the evidence on the stand, and my N spins my head when he does this because his explanations are so far from reality that it is crazy.
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Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 907

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