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Summer



Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 869
PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 6:40 pm    Post subject: deleted Reply with quote
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Last edited by Summer on Sat Aug 25, 2007 5:01 pm; edited 2 times in total
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dagna



Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 493
PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Summer,
For what it's worth, I know a lot of people who do that cut and paste thing. Sometimes it can get confusing.

HOWEVER, this is a vulnerable time, and I think it is important to trust your instincts. I think your gut is telling you something- maybe he is a problem or maybe you just aren't ready yet, or both.

Someday, it will feel right again (I think...).

Dagna
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dagna



Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 493
PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
and what do you have against a thousand cats???? Laughing Laughing
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Summer



Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 869
PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
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Last edited by Summer on Sat Aug 25, 2007 2:34 am; edited 1 time in total
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dagna



Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 493
PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 1:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Well if you REALLY want him to know that you aren't dating yet, you just let it slip in the context of something else... 'Well N keeps accusing me of dating someone, but I could NEVER do that until after the divorce is final'. Something like that. Now if you would never do that, but developing a 'special friendship' might be in order, well that would be a different tactic Cool

I understand completely about the PNSD. Right now the thought of kissing someone sounds really nice, but the thought of having a relationship??? I can't even make that part of my (very active) fantasy world!

Dagna
(contemplating the virtues of becoming a cat lady)
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deliveredin2006



Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 54
PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 3:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
My XN does it too but I know lots of people who do it as well. So yes, I think you're probably reading too much into that characteristic of the new guy but I also think that's totally understandable and maybe a sign that you're just not ready to date yet. Take a step back and review your situation as if it was a friend going through this and not you. Remind yourself what a TRAUMA you've been though in the past few years. We tend to forget when we're dealing with the N fallout on a day to day basis. You have amazing coping skills but your N is such a sick arsed freak that it's going to take a while before you're not reading too much into little things. And that's NORMAL given the circumstances.

D.
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Summer



Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 869
PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 6:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
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fraggle_1972



Joined: 03 Mar 2007
Posts: 567
PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 7:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Summer

My exN's wife at the time (married to him for 15 years) had no idea about all of his OW, whether she was naive or had the wool pulled over her eyes I dont know.

The fact is that he was cheating during their ENTIRE marriage and he told me the only reason he married her (they started dating when they were about 16-17) was because she made him feel guilty about sleeping together.

He was at one point living with another woman for about 7 months, while the wife was pregnant with their first child and she did not even question it?? they had separated 4 times during their marriage and I guarantee he was shacking up with another.

I dont know if I am less trusting than his exwife, but there were quite a few things that I picked up on during our relationship that triggered questions. Many things that she mentioned I would have questioned if I had been in that marriage.

She seems to be oblivious to it all, seems to get along with N quite well now, despite the fact that he was cheating all the time, never allowed her or the kids to do any thing.

something I have not been able to understand about her is that she has no concern for her kids to be left with him, despite the fact he has been locked up in a nut house, had police attend to him numerous occassions for suicide threats, had a knife pulled on her by him....I did warn her once about abusive behaviour that I saw on several occassions and her response was that she knew what was best for her kids and that she needs time outside of them. I read this to be I am selfish and need me time.

I cant think of any reason for someone to post on a dating site unless they were up to no good, particularlly an N.
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ohgal



Joined: 16 Feb 2007
Posts: 129
PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 5:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Summer~
I understand where you are coming from...I just found out from D that my xNh is dating someone named...ready for this?? BUBBLES!!! D told me that she is "teaching me how to dance" Hmmmm...I wonder "what" kind of dancing "Bubbles" does???
Knowing my N (he's a cop) he pulled her over for speeding or something and "let" her out of a ticket. LOL! She can have him.
As for being a cat lady?? I think my animals are more trusting and definately more LOYAL than any man I have ever met is...I am already an "animal lady" . At least there are no N animals so I am safe there.
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Summer



Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 869
PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
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