Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

superheromom · Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Posts: 74

D just told me that over TGiving weekend with N, girlfriend and her kids at his parents house, that N and GF did the deed in front of her. D slept in the same room as them and one morning, they were...uuhhh...getting cozy. D told them to stop but they ignored her.

This disturbs me and I'm sick to my stomach. I told D that she needed to tell the therapist next week. D said that she probably would.

My first instinct is to tell my atty but I think this is the therapist's territory. Is having "relations" in front of a 7 yr. old something a judge would want to know about? I'm going to try my best not to tell my atty because I really want it to come from the therapist. I think if I'm the person to bring it up it will look like I'm lying.

livedthroughit · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 946

I think your instinct is probably correct. I would leave this to the therapist at this point. I could be wrong, it was inappropriate, but what if d "changes her mind" after one her long conversations with dad?

superheromom · Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Posts: 74

Lived,

Thanks...I'll say nothing to the atty and stick with the therapist. D may not feel comfortable telling the therapist...we'll see what she does next week. D is a little bit better about talking with the therapist honestly about what she is feeling instead of trying to act like everything is okay.

vmm · Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 175

No, N and GF aren't allowed to do the deed in front of her. He could loose custody just because of this.

I agree N will have her lie to you about it, if he knows you are interested. The therapist would be required to report any child abuse or sexual behavior in front of the child to the athorities.

Can you record her saying this?

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 876

deleted

vmm · Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 175

If you had proof that they had sex infront of your child this is very serious. What about running a background check on gf? You can do this pretty quietly, just keep it to yourself until you see if she has drunk driving, other abuse actions filed against her, etc. Have you read her divorce case?

superheromom · Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Posts: 74

I have no information about the GF other than her first name and the names of her children. My atty requested info after TGiving but N responded that he would not disclose any of GF's info because N "feared that I would do something unethical with the info" in retaliation. N must think I'm upset that I've been replaced. Not the case.

Last week, N gave me a PO Box address. He said that he was "having trouble with his mail" with people taking things out of the mailbox. I asked how this was possible since N's apartment complex has a locking box and he was evasive. I said something like, "Oh, when did you move out of the apartment?" and N wouldn't answer. Said that it didn't matter and for me to use the PO Box instead.

Obviously, N has moved in with the GF and her kids and doesn't want me to know about it. Ridiculous. My atty is working on getting N's physical address. I'm pretty sure when D is across the country staying with N, N will need to provide me with an actual location of where I could find D, if needed. D won't fit inside a PO Box.

I had a doctor appt this morning and Dr. asked about the divorce and D. I gave him the update and Dr. was not impressed. I told Dr. that I suggested to D to tell the therapist about the "relations" next week so we'll see if she does. Dr. said that he wasn't sure but this could be a CPS issue. I said that I wondered the same but was going to let the therapist take the lead. If D doesn't tell the therapist, I will. I see my Dr. again in three weeks and will give him the update on what happened, if anything.

superheromom · Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Posts: 74

Yesterday, I received a call from my atty saying that the therapist had requested to meet with both attorneys. I asked him when and he said it was being worked out. I told him to make sure it was NOT before Monday because D told me something disturbing this week and hasn't had a chance to tell the therapist yet. I said that I didn't want to tell him...I wanted it to go throught the therapist...but since he now knows about it, did he want to hear what it was? Atty sighed and said that he wanted to know so I told him exactly what D told me about N & GF being intimate in front of her.

Atty was not impressed and said to make sure the therapist heard about it.

Later, I received an email from my atty that said N's atty, my atty and therapist were all going to meet on Tuesday. I also received a voice mail from the therapist saying that my atty told her about the new issue (I don't know if it was in general terms or in detail) and that I should not talk to D about it anymore because children will begin to fabricate if asked leading questions.

I left the therapist a voice mail saying that when D told me the story, I only said, "This is something that you should talk to the therapist about. Will you promise me to talk to her next week?" and that D replied "Maybe." The subject has not come up since.

1ablueprincess · Joined: 07 Oct 2007 Posts: 195

HeroMom, my N wont let me have any info about GF either. I know her name and that she has an S the same age as mine. I have done some detective work to find out N lives with GF and has been dating her since 2001. He is soooo secretive about her it is laughable! Thru detective work I was able to find out he physically abused her and they have split up and gone back together many times. She also has MY wedding rings and she does not know they were mine. She also thinks I am crazy because of stories N has told her. It is no wonder the Ns keep us away from the OW, it would blow their new persona Wink

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