Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

A couple of things come to mind.

First, my dad was in the militay for 21 years. So of course, we traveled a lot. And then after he retired, we traveled to visit family and visit places of intrest.

So, the last time I stayed in a hotel room with my parents was when I was 17. And I always HATED it. Reason? At exactly 11pm, my dad would turn off the tv, and him and my mom would have sex. In the next bed not even 5 feet away from mine. In the dark, of course, They assumed that I was sleeping. Yeah. A 17 year old girl is going to fall asleep with the tv blasting and lights on and knowing that my parents are going to DO IT!!! Sick and gross. Both my brother also remember this happening. And it totally creeps me out thinking about it.

The second thing...when I was a kid, we had a pool. I LOVED swimming in it. So did my dad. He also liked climbing on my back to "prove" that he weighed less in the water. He would make me walk him around the pool with him on my back. I was 12 or 13 at the time. This is a memory that I just realized a couple of weeks ago. Totally inapropriate. BTW, my dad was a deacon in the Baptist church. Not that that meant anything. And he was also the one who freaked...along with my mother...when they found out that I had sex for the first time at 20!!!!

I'm not sure if this classifies as "creepy", but just thinking about it makes me feel awfully creepy.

I'm not sure where this stands on the creepy scale, but just today as I killed a cockroach in my room, I remembered how scared I was of them when I was 5 or so years old.

When ever I did see a cockroach, I'd normally tell my mum but then my dad would come in and take me into the room with the cockroach. He'd kill it and then 'shove' (hold the dustpan really close to my face) the dead cockroach at my face before throwing it in the bin, then following on to brag about how he was a man's man for being able to kill a cockroach...

About 20 years ago, my NM's feet swelled up so bad she crawled around her house on her hands and knees. She claimed she could not rise to sit on the toilet, so she urinated in wastebaskets. Then she asked me to come over and empty the wastebasket into the toilet ... which I did because at that time, I was still under her spell of servitude. I remember gagging and feeling humiliated as I did the dirty deed.

When your "mother" expects you to empty her urine, you know she has no respect for you.

I was in her VW microbus, my GM in back seat, and she pulled off the freeway onto the shoulder and threatened to wait for a big truck and pull out in front of it and kill the three of us. I was about 12 y.o. and I was scared to move or say anything, but I finally stammered out "Please don't kill us!" Here's the creepy part: she acted like she was totally surprised and perplexed that I would think such an absurd thing. She denied ever saying or thinking it. She OF COURSE would NEVER do such a thing. How could I ever even think she would say anything so terrible and bizarre?

Wooow! No way!!! It's Zanderman! Your back man!!! I've been wondering if you would ever come back here!! How have you been? What have you been up to? Hows the doggie? Any, cross country adventures lately??

Sorry about what your NM put you through! and to deny that she said it! agghhh....so N!!! I still have a memory of your NM and the drum stick incident burned in my memory!!! Have you still been NC all these months??

Enilina wrote:My dad would bite me constantly until I made him stop when I was about 11 years old. Just to confirm that the biting stuff wasn't normal I told a friend at school and judging by her deer-in-the-headlight speechless response, yup, not normal.

My mom tried to tell me about the oral sex she's given to my dad. I made her stop about 15 seconds into the talk. She was so surprised that I didn't want to listen since I dutifully listen to all her endless me-me-me talks.

But I think the creepiest thing they ever did was tried for 30 years to make my sister and I hate eachother. Despite all I've learned about NPD, I still can't fathom why they would want this. Yes I know about gatekeeping and isolating, but still can't understand it, which now that I write this I guess it's a good thing.

My NM has tried for years to do this as well--make my sister and I hate each other. She's always set all of the siblings up against each other, but, in the past, when we have had a falling out, she moans that no one gets along! I wonder why?

My NF has done so many creepy things, I can't even begin to describe them (and I'm actually too embarrassed to even tell my counselor), but one truly creepy thing was this: my parents took me on a trip to Europe as a graduation present when I was seventeen (nice), but we did absolutely nothing I wanted to do (not so nice). Then my mother left for the last two days to visit her family in another part of England, and my father immediately lined up play tickets for the next two nights (nice...I thought); the plays were both borderline porn--everyone was naked and having simulated sex on stage. One of the plays had a huge plexiglass swimming pool on the stage and various naked actresses and actors would swim around in it and then jump out onto a huge bed and have sex. I think it was called "Let's Get Laid." Lovely.

margaretschlegal wrote:I think it was called "Let's Get Laid." Lovely.

What a guy. He'd make a nice castrato, I think. Bastard.

Reading some of your responses, I am wondering what the statute of limitations is on some of these crimes? They are horrible and I feel some of them need to be in jail. Considering grandchildren can endure the rapes and abuse too, they are menaces.

After reading some of your responses, I feel a little luckier. My NM is so self involved as to ignore me (with the exception of 2-3 times a week phone calls to tell me how to raise my kids) or unless she wants me to come work at her house on something...

I do hear family rumors of her 'sleeping her way' to the top of various organizations. One family member claims to have a box that amounts to an "affair kit" (I don't want to know what's in it) which she uses when she's off cheating.

Hi lynn, great to see you! Dog & I are fine, in Alabama, having a great time. I've missed y'all, it's great to be back! I have stories to tell, but I spend all my time catching up with all the other posts.
Later, going to a play or art-thing called Crash-Boom-Bang with FUN relatives!

Well...my NF would buy Penthouse mags basically in front of me. I mean, he'd give me a quarter to go play a video game, but they'd just put it in a paper bag and put it in with the rest of the groceries and stuff and I wasn't stupid.

When I forgot to take out the trash one time (from our concrete garage where no one would smell it), he was going to make me sleep with it in my room. I think that's one of the only times my mom stood up to him.

There was a whole level of weirdness around him insisting my mother couldn't possibly teach me how to be a proper young woman, so he'd take me clothing shopping, he sent me to "modeling school", he got me a subscription to a much older fashion mag instead of 17 which all my peers read...always commented on me being "feminine" enough and being able to "get a husband". Honestly I think he was trying to turn me into HIS surrogate wife *vomits*.

My mom had these weird things with excessive nudity. She'd want to have entire conversations with us while she was in the tub or she'd forget a towel . She was "that woman" at the gym who'd do everything before getting dressed. She'd dry her hair, lotion up, etc. And (TMI) she had this GIGANTIC bush she never did anything with. It was everywhere. *shudder* Mom would go to doctor's appointments with me and when i'd come out she'd go into the doctor's office without me and come out crying and not tell me why. I was like - am I dying of cancer or something??? (Clearly i haven't so far.)

The "sex talk" was before college: "When you're ready, I'll take you to my gynecologist and get you fitted for a diaphragm." IDK what it all means...

My Pgma is obsessed with strip searches. Once, my brother and I had borrowed a movie from friends and needed a ride to return it.
She wanted to watch the video in question, but as it was rather crude (not porn, just low brow humour), so she DEMANDED it with the threat of strip search for the both of us. I was about 11, brother about 14. We gave her the movie, needless to say.
Another time, I was picked up by authorities for mischief and when I saw her again, she was just so pressing, "Did they strip search you?".
"No." (they actually hadn't, I mean a teenager for mischief)
"Are you sure? They must have!"
Ugh.

Just thought of this -
NM would listen outside the bathroom door for the sound of the toilet paper rolling on the dispenser, and come barging into the bathroom saying "Don't put that toilet paper in the toilet! Put it in the trash basket!" She did this to all houseguests who used her bathroom. When I questioned her why, her answer was "I have a septic tank." When I tried to explain how a septic system worked, and how it was designed to handle toilet paper, I got the stock ultimatum: This is MY house, and if you can't abide by MY rules, you can find some other place to use the bathroom.