Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Kathryann · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 72

I read this response that you posted on my Forgiveness post.

Codependents

Like dependents (people with the Dependent Personality Disorder), codependents depend on other people for their emotional gratification and the performance of both inconsequential and crucial daily and psychological functions.

Codependents are needy, demanding, and submissive. They suffer from abandonment anxiety and, to avoid being overwhelmed by it, they cling to others and act immaturely. These behaviors are intended to elicit protective responses and to safeguard the "relationship" with their companion or mate upon whom they depend. Codependents appear to be impervious to abuse. No matter how badly mistreated, they remain committed.

This is where the "co" in "co-dependence" comes into play. By accepting the role of victims, codependents seek to control their abusers and manipulate them. It is a danse macabre in which both members of the dyad collaborate.

As much as I hate to admit it, this is me. I have remained loyal to my Ex-P (diagnosed) husband for the past 6 years, and he has done some very humiliating things to me, I lost my home and filed bankruptcy. My mind still tells me that he didn't mean for all this to happen, he still loves me, and no one in the world would ever be able to replace him, it's sick. I have had NC since December 15th. He has only tried to contact me one time, and basically is not like the typical person you read about on this board. I'm really not even sure where he is or what he's doing. I just want to escape this abuse I keep putting onto myself. I am lonely, yet I'm still waiting for the miracle to happen, realistically I know it never will, and he's gone for good, and I should be glad about that, but I'm depressed almost every day about this and it's always on my mind. Is this normal? I just want to get better.

Thanks,

Kathryann

samvaknin · Site Admin Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 2316

Hi, Kathryann,

First you identify yourself as codependent (which is a mental health problem) and then you ask if it is normal??? You need professional assistance to overcome your addiction to abuse.

These may be of help - click on the links:

The Narcissist's Victims

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq38.html

Victim Reactions to Abuse by Narcissists and Psychopaths

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders70.html

Mourning the Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq68.html

The Three Forms of Closure

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse17.html

Back to La-la Land

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal78.html

The Spouse/Mate/Partner of the Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq6.html

Divorcing the Narcissist and the Narcissistic Psychopath - How Do I Get Rid
of Him?

http://samvak.tripod.com/5.html

Traumas as Social Interactions

http://samvak.tripod.com/trauma.html

How Victims are Affected by Abuse

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily21.html

How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily22.html

How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Recovery and Healing

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily23.html

Surviving the Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq80.html

The Inverted Narcissist - Codependence and Relationships with Abusive
Narcissists

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq66.html

Codependence and the Dependent Personality Disorder

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders22.html

The Dependent Patient - A Case Study

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders56.html

Danse Macabre - Trauma bonding and the Stockholm Syndrome

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily.html

The Cult of the Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal79.html

Take care.

Sam