Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

I was curious how many people here have dealt with a P that was openly aware and excepting of the fact that he/she was a P?
I know that usually most P's go undiagnosed for the shear fact that they do not believe that there is anything wrong with them and do not seek treatment on their own. Usually an outside agency or the courts get involved and they end up getting a diagnosis that way.

I've heard of people accepting their diagnosis and even enjoying it. It was used for additional manipulation. "I can't help it, I'm a sociopath."

Jeffery Dahmer knew he was a sociopath and a serial killer. Didn't make him any less lethal.

I really think it depends on what kind of sociopath you are dealing with. A part of winning and grandiose are persuading people to believe that they are gregarious, charming, & good people. With my sociopath, he was very concern with keeping up an image that he was wealthy, smart, highly attractive(which i think he is, but most people are insecure even if they are) and being better than any everyone else. I guess i truly got lucky, because when i found out the truth about him, he left me(of course not without 3 months of badgering and stalking) but he knew that we would never be the same, and my friends would never accept him again.

I believe that my exN/P used to play games at dropping hints to me about his dissorder. He knew what he was and even called himself a waste of space. I only left him when he admitted to me that he didnt care about me or anyone. He told me (In a very proud way) " I bet you have never been with anyone like me before"and then continued to say that he would not get help as he did not need to. He is very aware that he is a fake and a liar and he uses his condition as an excuse for his disgusting behavior.

Perhaps they are aware through other labels. For exmaple, one online dating site has many "tests" to help define an individual, one of which is the is the "Dating Persona Test." Of the 16 possible male catagoeis, one is the Manchild:

"Hopeful. Awkward. Soft-headed. Fire intrigues you. You are The Manchild.

Okay, Manchildren have some good qualities. They can be unpredictable, brash, magnetic—and therefore highly charismatic. Particularly, you’re passionate and are often a hell of a lot of fun.

But we’d like you to consider not using OkCupid. You can be unthinking and hurtful, and we think you LIKE seeing bad things happen. You’ve had a moderate number of relationships, but broken a disproportionate number of hearts. In total, you mean well, but don’t really have it together.

It’s up to you, of course, whether to continue dating. There are plenty of women out there who do deserve you. But you’ve heard our advice. If you stay...

The Manchild... can be unpredictable, brash, magnetic—therefore highly charismatic... passionate and often a hell of a lot of fun... You can be unthinking and hurtful, and we think you LIKE seeing bad things happen. You’ve had a moderate number of relationships, but broken a disproportionate number of hearts. In total, you mean well, but don’t really have it together."

Wow, that hit the nail on the head, didn't it?
It addresses what Ps are in the nicest possible way. However even the dimmest psychopath will see it as an attempt to butter him up before attempting to convince him that he just doesn't belong - there, specifically, or anywhere around decent people, in general. They will be insulted. And they will stick around.

Most Ps are probably in denial about themselves. The Ps, who are aware of what they are, are on the dating site for the express purpose of meeting people to abuse anyway so it's all in vain, yet it shows that maybe some dating sites really do care. Or, at least, they want to show some pretense of caring for their clients. It's almost like having a disclaimer attached.

Thanks for sharing that.
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I don't think that some are so overtly aware that they are users and abusers. I think some are simply lonely, lost souls who stumble along completely unaware of the damage they do. In fact, they are unaware because the lack feeling and empathy. In the case of the "Manchild," or at least the one I know, I think he that while he probably views it as some badge of honor, he still longs for a true connection and love.

I came upon this dating by suggestion, I normally don't like such ways of meeting people but I was sick for a couple of weeks. I was just dumped by the "Manchild" I was seeing and was web surfing. It looked like something real, not sex-oriented, so I completed a profile and some of its test. I was stunned when I came across his profile. First, it meant was actively courting other people when he told me he was not. But his profile floored me. He was mid-30s and it looked like the profile of a 15 year old. I also learned that despite his words, he was extremely promiscuous, kinky and into rough sex, and thought very much about "boys," "mojo" and "vodka." Virtually everything in his profile was the exact opposite of what he was portraying to me except one thing: he dressed very much like a teenage boy. We would go to a nice restaurant and he would wear blue jeans, a hoodie and a military type jacket. I dismissed this as he is from London and thought he was just being trendy, but now I see it fits his whole "Manchild" personna. He even used a picture and a profile name (____boy25) to suggest he was much younger than his real age.

I was never so stunned in my life. Through all this, and the test and questions, some very bizarre, I also learned he is HIV positive, which also explained some of his odd behaviors around me, which I again dismissed at first to he being British.

My XNP knows there is something wrong. I don't know if he knows exactly what. He went to great lengths to get diagnosed for mental illness so he could get SSI. Once he got it, he was always saying he "could get away with anything now" and that "a psyche ward is nothing compared to prison".
He pretty much warned me about himself from the start. Will never own the cheating and not being able to settle down with one woman though. He admits to being abusive. He admits to being a commitment-phobe. He admits to being an alcoholic & drug addict. He admits to living a lie to his family and work. He admits to never working the steps in 12-step meetings. He admits to gaslighting and trying to make people think they are crazy. He admits to being delusional. He admits to hearing "voices".

I still don't think my P was so aware and probably viewed being a "Manchild" as a badge of honor, not an indication of deep problems. However, I do give him credit for being "honest" or reasonably so in his dating profile. I only wish I had received such honesty. Funny though, for all his promiscuity, kinky sex and lack of trust in others, he is looking for someone to love and a lasting, monogamous relationship. Maybe one day he will find this BOY.

The one I know KNOWS he is. BUT, he compartmentalizes it and said that it's all part of his past, and being "born again" saved him from evil. He views himself as a normal person in society, but I know for a fact he restrains himself from the acting on the vileness in his mind each day. I don't believe any person can feel "human" if they lack empathy. Any caring emotion he shows is purely manufactured for effect.

A question I have concering my x-P is why would anyone use the same name on a serious dating site and X-tube? I viewed it as a way of disclosure, since his "favorite" porn movie is one depicting unprotected anal sex between young men, I figure not only that he is attracted to "boys" (his own words) but unsafe sex as well, with all the consequences (HIV). In essence, a way of indirectly being honest, in a way that he could not or would not be with me.

Perhaps I am giving him too much credit, and all this simply a part of the the glibness and lack of shame associated with P behaviour.