Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

RB2007 · Joined: 23 Feb 2007 Posts: 22

My ex-N always used to claim that he wasn't the jealous type at all. But then whenever I'd see someone new, he'd spread all kinds of rude jokes about him. He'd also try to arrange for us to hang out as "buddies" because he "wanted to get to know" any new man in my life. I don't know, but none of my other exs ever wanted to hang around me & any new boyfriends that I had. They simply decided to move on with their lives and find more compatible girlfriends.

Also, he'd seem aloof anytime something good happened to me. I'd write a new song, make a new painting, or get a great new job: It never mattered to him. And he doesn't have a job. He's basically a moocher who steals cash from his parents & conquests. His only life passion has been dancing (which I happen to be bad at). Rolling Eyes

pinkybubbles · Guest

Jealous- think most are-

1whogotaway · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 116

I had one XN many years ago who tried for years to sabotage my new relationship after I had broken up with him.
The most recent XNPD was extremely jealous. Once in a vain attempt to teach him empathy because he was a compulsive flirt, I flirted with a guy while we were out. He drove me home and left in a huff. We talked about it days later and he said don't ever, ever do that around him again. I said I understood. He continued to be a compulsive flirt himself and was INCAPABLE of feeling empathy... I talked til I was blue in the face to explain... see this is how I feel when you do that, don't you remember how you felt when I did it to you... no he couldn't get it. He was convinced I was sickly jealous and it was all my problem. He was "just having fun". He humiliated me publicly every chance he got then said it was all my problem. D & D But you better not do it to him!
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TBird

pinkybubbles · Guest

My ex used to like to remind me he could have any woman he wanted where as I would never have anyone other than him- who else would have me!!!!

if I did chat to a an hed accuse me of sleeping with them fancying them etc etc considering im so repulsive and will never have another man surely he should have known there would be no harm in me saying hi to the postman. Hed flirt with lots of people and often tell me he had women chasing him when hed been out or at work.

NarcNobbler · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 332

Yep,

He only wants to meet your new boyfriends to interfere with any budding romance to keep you his in a weird way. To them your and object a possession. As someone else put it like a child with a toy they disguard, as soon as another child picks it up they want their toy back.
.

After D&D ing me my XN would ring and recount the fab sex she was having with her new NS(In graphic detail) she would later ring me one night asking me if i would visit them to show him what to do?? Shocked

She asked me how i was getting on and I just happened to mention some one at work had asked me out. She turned up at my house the following weekend
wanting to punch her out. She lives hundreds of miles away?

If I gave any other woman a complement their was a row.

And one of the strangest things she used to call me out of bed a 4a.m and later when she was out with work mates so i could taxi them home.
I picked them up and her boss and her workmates kept thanking me and saying what a wonderful guy I was to get out of bed to do this for them.

After I dropped them all off her boss last she told me, we were going to break up if i didn't get out of the car and punch her boss out and make him say sorry ? Shocked

She had got me out of bed to collect them ,not me and she was the one that should have got the kudos. I was also to punch him anyway, to show I was not as nice as they thought. At the time I put it down to drink.
But realised the following morning she was deadly serious. Wanted me to go up and get him their and then. Jealous yep.

She tormented me so much after the breakup i did end up lieing one night
told her I had a new G/F and to not to bother me again, you guessed it turned up on my door that weekend screaming for her blood at 8 am.

This was weeks after the D&D and she was happy with her new NS?

Narc.

NarcNobbler · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 332

pinkybubbles

Think these are common traits "You'll never get anyone, who would have you"

She could have anyone. Bla Bla Bla.

And would always say every one flirts its only a bit of fun.

To the point at a party I commented on a guests outfit and said it was nice, she was livid pulled me aside and said If i ever embarrassed HER she again she was gone.

Minutes later she returned to tell me she had told a married neighbor she fantasied having sex with him regularly, this is where I flipped and she argued that I had commented the worse crime giving a complement??

Narc.

pinkybubbles · Guest

sallyishere · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 833

God yes! Very insanely jealous!! Jelaous of all men, past relationships and my ex husband, friends, family, education, work....everything not related to him.

Sally

Milly1956 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 571

XN also said he was 'not the jealous kind' but he was a master of sarcasm if attention was deflected from him in any way. He also went out of his way to try and make me feel jealous (or at least insecure), especially when I ever tried to stand up for myself or call him out on his actions.

Lynnezer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 534

Mine also claimed that he wasn't the jealous type. He'd say, I like to see you talking with other men because I know that I'm the one that's taking you home. Funny thing, he'd never let me talk alone to a man he didn't know.

AND he did everything he could to make me jealous. Very transparent. Though at times I had twinges, I NEVER showed it. It drove him nuts. It worked on the other women he had been with....not me, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. And at times it took all my strength to keep it inside.

Cool

Lynnezer
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Ns are equal opportunity offenders. Shampoo, rinse, repeat. Wink

samvaknin · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 2186

The most dangerous class of abusers is the paranoid-delusional. If your ex is one of these, he is likely to:

Believe that you still love him (erotomania). Interpret everything you do or say – even to third parties – as "hidden messages" addressed to him and professing your undying devotion (ideas of reference).

Confuse the physical with the emotional (regard sex as "proof" of love and be prone to rape you).

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse15.html

Even with all these precautions, your abusive ex is likely to find you, furious that you have fled and evaded him, raging at your newfound existence, suspicious and resentful of your freedom and personal autonomy. Violence is more than likely. Unless deterred, paranoid former spouses tend to be harmful, even lethal.

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse16.html

Dizzygirl · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 162 Location: UK

Yep, mine was the jealous type. He even admitted to me that he was.

I always knew when he was feeling jealous as he would be moody and go into a sulk. After that he would surpress his anger, although sometimes he was like a volcano about to erupt.

The least little thing sent him into a bout of jealousy. He wanted what everyone else had, he wanted success, he wanted to be known as the best of the best, and if anything or anyone brought him back down to earth then his jealousy showed through like a bright beacon on a dark night.
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Dizzygirl

Man_Qld · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 109

I gave Miss N a pair of sexy ankle length zip up boots and she questioned me who did they once belong to (wtf). Asked me did they belong to an ex girlfriend.
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There is no one person more important than another

Lynnezer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 534

Man_Qld · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 109

G'day Lynne

You lost me on your last post...PROJECTION?

Confused

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There is no one person more important than another