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Ambient, overt and proxy abuse

Sam Vaknin is the author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" and 8 other books about personality disorders and abuse in relationships with narcissists and psychopaths. He is the owner and moderator of support forums and the first person to have written about the Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) online (in 1997). He invented many of the terms currently used to describe the disorder and its effects on family, the workplace, and in various professions.

Where to go to ask Dr. Sam questions. This is intended as Questions to Dr. Vaknin and his responses

** Please do not post replies in this forum. This forum is for Dr. Vaknin ONLY to answer questions. Any general discussion posts WILL be deleted without warning.**

Moderators: WindSong, samvaknin

Ambient, overt and proxy abuse

Postby Memaw05 » Sun Jan 10, 2016 4:47 am

My ex husband employed all of these abuse tactics. The problem was that I knew something was wrong but I couldn't explain what he was doing. I knew he was turning my kids on me because before my divorce my kids and I were very close and after the divorce they wanted nothing to with me. As you have stated in your video I would yell and scream at him looking like the crazy one and he looked like the victim. My daughter told me that he was recording her and her boyfriend being intimate he was addicted to lorn and was very degrading to me while being intimate and then withholding intimacy for months at a time. What made things worse was no one would believe me when I told them what he was doing. I even tried to get a restraining order against him and he lied in court and I was denied the protection does this sound like a psychopath to you or was I dealing with something else?
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Re: Ambient, overt and proxy abuse

Postby samvaknin » Sat Jan 30, 2016 3:52 pm

Only a qualified mental health diagnostician can determine whether someone suffers from Antisocial Personality Disorder (psychopathy) and this, following lengthy tests and personal interviews.

These may be of help - click on the links:




Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy:


Buy 16 books or 3 video DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships - click on this link:

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