These may be of help - click on the links:
Rescue Fantasies - Surviving the Narcissisthttp://samvak.tripod.com/faq80.html
The Malignant Optimism of the Abusedhttp://samvak.tripod.com/journal27.html
The Inverted Narcissist - Codependence and Relationships with Abusive
Codependence and the Dependent Personality Disorderhttp://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders22.html
The Dependent Patient - A Case Studyhttp://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders56.html
What kind of a spouse/mate/partner is likely to be attracted to a narcissist, or to attract a narcissist?
On the face of it, there is no (emotional) partner or mate, who typically "binds" with a narcissist. They come in all shapes and sizes. The initial phases of attraction, infatuation and falling in love are pretty normal. The narcissist puts on his best face – the other party is blinded by budding love. A natural selection process occurs only much later, as the relationship develops and is put to the test.
Living with a narcissist can be exhilarating, is always onerous, often harrowing. Surviving a relationship with a narcissist indicates, therefore, the parameters of the personality of the survivor. She (or, more rarely, he) is moulded by the relationship into The Typical Narcissistic Mate/Partner/Spouse.
First and foremost, the narcissist's partner must have a deficient or a distorted grasp of her self and of reality. Otherwise, she (or he) is bound to abandon the narcissist's ship early on. The cognitive distortion is likely to consist of belittling and demeaning herself – while aggrandising and adoring the narcissist.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):http://samvak.tripod.com/faq6.html
Self-flagellation is a characteristic of those who choose to live with a narcissist (for a choice it is). Constant feelings of guilt, self-reproach, self-recrimination and, thus, self-punishment characterize the relationships formed between the sadist-narcissist and the masochistic-dependent mate or partner.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):http://samvak.tripod.com/faq21.html