Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Hi Dr. Vaknin,

I just wanted to thank you again for creating this forum that allows us Acons to heal and for doing positive things like educating people on Narcissism...(getting rid of the idea that it has to do with being vain and staring into a mirror...etc)

I would like to ask you a few questions: I recently confronted my NM for the 2nd time about her Narcissism...I wasn't sure if she was aware of what it is so I explained in so many words her symptoms, the cause, having a NF, etc etc...And then I mentioned that to me it seems like she does not care how she behaves and doesn't care to get treatment for herself to change/modify her behavior...

What made you want to modify your behavior?
How can I help her to want to modify and improve her behavior?
What resources therapy, etc... helped you to modify your behavior?

I feel like unless she makes an effort to be less selfish than it's not possible to have a relationship with her. I am willing to try to have a relationship out of pity for her because I don't want her to suffer by herself...I would like her to make an effort though in the relationship, since it should not be one sided...

Also, this is an odd question...but sometimes I feel like my NM is a master manipulater and that she has some power to hypnotize me...Is this possible? Do some N's study and use techniques like hypnotism to gain control over people...I say this because she seemed to always get me to do things I wouldn't usually give into with other people....I believed her outlandish lies that I would have questioned with other people...and she stares at people and myself with piercing eyes...I once saw a picture taken of Picasso ( another N) when he was a child and he had the same piercing type of stare that goes right through you.... I am not implying that Picasso was a hypnotist...I'm just wondering if there is something up with this staring, and if some N's hypnotize their victims willingly or unknowingly to both the N and the victim.... thanks for your response..

Hypnosis cannot be used to induce you to do things that you wouldn't do in a waking state, when you are not hypnotized.

You can learn more about me and my work here:

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/indexqa.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/mediakit.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/nar ... hotos.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/cv.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/archive01.html (scroll down to section
titled "Sam Vaknin, NPD")

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/journal1.html (my journal)

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/sipurim.html (short fiction)

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/contents.html (poetry)

Only a qualified mental health diagnostician can determine whether someone suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and this, following lengthy tests and personal interviews.

These may be of help - click on the links:

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/1.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/npdglance.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq82.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faqpd.html

Healing and Curing Narcissism

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq63.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq77.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq70.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq12.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/10.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/case03.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq31.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders37.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders45.html