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4th of July visitation

 
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dagna



Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 493

PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:15 pm    Post subject: 4th of July visitation Reply with quote

OK so I was enforcing boundaries. He wanted to see the kids yesterday, he offered to take them to a park (it has taken him this long to get to the part of the stipulation that says "visitation should not be in the petitioner's home"-- but I had to insist on that first.

But the other part says that he will have someone else with him for visitation. So I asked him if he had lined someone up yet. He hemmed and hawed, listed off all of the people who couldn't do it. Then he says "well OW could do it but I don't know what you think about that." So all along he was just waiting for me to give this explicit permission, because clearly all along it was going to be her or no one. I said fine. I already know her, she'll be fine, he'll be hell bent on not showing her his true colors that he will have to be nice and responsible. Plus they may as well get to know her, I think she will be around for awhile. But man this indirect communication thing is driving me nuts. Drives me crazy when the kids do it, but coming from a grown man? How about "Hey Dagna, what would you think about OW coming with us?" Really how hard would that be???

Sorry, I know that I am sounding really petty, and compared to what some of you are going through this is nothing. But I am just really down right now, and angry, and hurt, and every little annoyance just reminds me that I have spent the last 20 years of my life with someone so totally uncool. And I don't know what I was thinking.

(but when he came to get the kids I did kindly ask him to show me how to put the window air conditioner in -- it is a funky set up and he was the only one who had done it-- and he very helpfully did so, and now I know how to do it for next time, and my house is a lot cooler. But don't worry, I still think HE is totally UNcool).
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Summer



Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 869

PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 1:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

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Last edited by Summer on Thu Aug 23, 2007 8:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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dagna



Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 493

PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 3:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Summer. I just wish I could get out of this whiny funk. I am trying not to cower, but instead to plow through to the other side, but it is not easy.

I always appreciate your posts. It seems like the crap you deal with is just so exhausting that my stuff pales in comparison.

I hope you are able to get some respite with your NC!
Dagna
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Summer



Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 869

PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 4:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

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